It's easy to 'love' someone you know you'll get something back out of. For example, you might invite more people to your party than your actual close friends, because you know you'll get more presents that way. You only have to spend a few minutes watching TV to notice that it's almost always the rich and glamorous who have flocks of 'friends' around them, that people flock towards the famous. Perhaps our obsession with celebrities is in part down to the idea that if you can get close to them, some of their fame will rub off on you. I'm guilty of trying it too--my brother went to pre-school with the son of the guy who makes VeggieTales :D. What actual relevance that has to anything...
But on an even more basic level, it can mean loving the people who are lovable, being friends to people who you're pretty sure will reciprocate. It's trying to make the input-->output formula work for relationships too, by expecting back what you put in. It's an easy enough trap to fall into. But the Bible says to 'love your enemies, pray for those who hurt you' (Matthew 5 33-34). Now, what are you going to get back from your enemies if you love them? Not a whole lot in the way of nice stuff--probably. Not at first anyway. But prayer does have the power to change things. It's like giving permission to the fairies in Artemis Fowl (now you're going to say you haven't read this brilliant book)--if they don't have the permission, they can't enter a human's dwelling. In the same way, God gave us power over the earth. He can't step in unless we ask him to.
I think the best way to look at this one is to examine your motives within friendships, to wonder why exactly you're inviting that person to your party.
Just remember:
God made you special and he loves you very much.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Saturday, 30 May 2009
Love is not rude
Love is not rude. Again, this looks like an obvious one. Of course you aren't rude to people you love. Are you? Um... Maybe a bit. Well, a lot. It's like with the kindness thing. It's pretty easy to be nasty to people you like, to be rude, to cut them off mid-sentence, to ignore them, because you feel like you can get away with it. But it's easy to go a bit too far, to say something you'll later find yourself regretting which leads to an argument.
Not listening is often seen as being rude. And that can lead to problems. As an example: apparently, today I was told we were going to Camelot theme park. I don't remember ever hearing that. So, when the time came and my mum was like 'have you played your clarinet, we're going soon', I was understandably confused. She was annoyed I hadn't listened and paid attention. Fair enough. I can see her point. Not listening is one of the things people find most annoying. In order to assure people we're listening, there's this thing called back-channel--we go 'uh-huh', 'yeh', etc. If you ever stop giving back channel, it really disturbs people because it feels like you're not listening, leads to uncomfortable silence, can be quite embarassing. How do I know? We did a little experiment in English Language. Quite amusing for those of us in on the joke, frustrating for people not in on the joke. I'm rambling a bit, sorry. At any rate, people get offended if they feel like you're being rude and ignoring them. It makes them feel belittled, it's part of the whole respect thing I was talking about earlier. If you love someone, you respect them, you give them your attention. Being rude doesn't do that.
What it all comes down to, is that all people deserve respect and consideration. They were 'made in the image of God' (Genesis). Now, don't you think that deserves a bit of respect? After all, in dictatorships, in celebrity culture, the image of the leader or celebratory is displayed prominently, and people are expected to give it respect. How much more respect do things reflecting God deserve?
Remember: God made you special and he loves you very much.
Not listening is often seen as being rude. And that can lead to problems. As an example: apparently, today I was told we were going to Camelot theme park. I don't remember ever hearing that. So, when the time came and my mum was like 'have you played your clarinet, we're going soon', I was understandably confused. She was annoyed I hadn't listened and paid attention. Fair enough. I can see her point. Not listening is one of the things people find most annoying. In order to assure people we're listening, there's this thing called back-channel--we go 'uh-huh', 'yeh', etc. If you ever stop giving back channel, it really disturbs people because it feels like you're not listening, leads to uncomfortable silence, can be quite embarassing. How do I know? We did a little experiment in English Language. Quite amusing for those of us in on the joke, frustrating for people not in on the joke. I'm rambling a bit, sorry. At any rate, people get offended if they feel like you're being rude and ignoring them. It makes them feel belittled, it's part of the whole respect thing I was talking about earlier. If you love someone, you respect them, you give them your attention. Being rude doesn't do that.
What it all comes down to, is that all people deserve respect and consideration. They were 'made in the image of God' (Genesis). Now, don't you think that deserves a bit of respect? After all, in dictatorships, in celebrity culture, the image of the leader or celebratory is displayed prominently, and people are expected to give it respect. How much more respect do things reflecting God deserve?
Remember: God made you special and he loves you very much.
Thursday, 14 May 2009
Love is not proud
Okay, I'm gonna start off with a dictionary definition of proud: having, proceeding from, or showing a high opinion of one's own dignity, importance, or superiority.
Don't you just hate it when you come across someone who thinks they're so much better than you? It's so infuriating. You just want to wipe that smile of smug satisfaction off their grinning gob and let them eat a bit of humble pie. Well, I guess that makes it kinda clear why Paul didn't want people to connect love with proud. It causes anger and resentment. But even when it doesn't, it still has pretty bad repercusions. I'm sure you've heard the saying 'pride comes before a fall'. The reason is, pride puffs you up so much that you can't see where you're putting your feet, and then wham, you're on your face. So be careful about priding yourself in your relationships too much. That's a bit of a sneaky trap. You start to think 'hey, I'm doing pretty good at this whole loving thing', get a bit proud, and that's when you start seeing people as not being people.
Maybe you think I'm overdramatising a bit. Well, let's look at it this way. A little bit of pride in a relationship, you might think is a good thing. It means you want to keep it going. But this links in with the whole boasting thing. If you start looking at your relationship in terms of what it provides, that can never lead to good stuff. A relationship is about what you can give, not what you can get. And that is the very essence of love.
Remember: God made you special, and he loves you very much.
Don't you just hate it when you come across someone who thinks they're so much better than you? It's so infuriating. You just want to wipe that smile of smug satisfaction off their grinning gob and let them eat a bit of humble pie. Well, I guess that makes it kinda clear why Paul didn't want people to connect love with proud. It causes anger and resentment. But even when it doesn't, it still has pretty bad repercusions. I'm sure you've heard the saying 'pride comes before a fall'. The reason is, pride puffs you up so much that you can't see where you're putting your feet, and then wham, you're on your face. So be careful about priding yourself in your relationships too much. That's a bit of a sneaky trap. You start to think 'hey, I'm doing pretty good at this whole loving thing', get a bit proud, and that's when you start seeing people as not being people.
Maybe you think I'm overdramatising a bit. Well, let's look at it this way. A little bit of pride in a relationship, you might think is a good thing. It means you want to keep it going. But this links in with the whole boasting thing. If you start looking at your relationship in terms of what it provides, that can never lead to good stuff. A relationship is about what you can give, not what you can get. And that is the very essence of love.
Remember: God made you special, and he loves you very much.
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Abba, Father
Quite often in the Bible, God is described as our father. Perhaps the most well known instance is in the Lord's Prayer. (Our Father who art in heaven...).
Abba is the Hebrew word that gets translated to father. However, to a lot of people this suggests a stern old bloke with a stick. In reality, the word is much closer to our word 'Daddy'.
I know not everyone's been as lucky as me to have a great dad, and some people struggle with this. Up until a few years ago, my dad was always indestructible, and I called him 'Daddy'. But when you get a bit older, you start to realise that your dad isn't really quite so indestructible and perfect, no matter how great he may be. He's just human. And you start to call him 'Dad' (unless you want something).
It's interesting that 'Daddy' is the word I'm more likely to use if I want to borrow money or go out or anything like that. And 'Daddy' is often what young children say.
In the Bible, Jesus says that unless you have faith like little children, you won't enter the kingdom. So I think it's important that instead of thinking of God as 'Father', we start to think of him more as 'Daddy'--there to meet all our needs, keep us safe, and offer his unconditional love.
And remember: God made you special and he loves you very much.
Abba is the Hebrew word that gets translated to father. However, to a lot of people this suggests a stern old bloke with a stick. In reality, the word is much closer to our word 'Daddy'.
I know not everyone's been as lucky as me to have a great dad, and some people struggle with this. Up until a few years ago, my dad was always indestructible, and I called him 'Daddy'. But when you get a bit older, you start to realise that your dad isn't really quite so indestructible and perfect, no matter how great he may be. He's just human. And you start to call him 'Dad' (unless you want something).
It's interesting that 'Daddy' is the word I'm more likely to use if I want to borrow money or go out or anything like that. And 'Daddy' is often what young children say.
In the Bible, Jesus says that unless you have faith like little children, you won't enter the kingdom. So I think it's important that instead of thinking of God as 'Father', we start to think of him more as 'Daddy'--there to meet all our needs, keep us safe, and offer his unconditional love.
And remember: God made you special and he loves you very much.
Father's Love Letter
This is something that was given to me once. I've taken it from http://www.fathersloveletter.com
My Child,
You may not know me, but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live.
Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you.
Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you.
1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me.
1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7
I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad
Almighty God
My Child,
You may not know me, but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live.
Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you.
Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you.
1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me.
1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7
I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad
Almighty God
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Love does not boast
Ok, back to the whole love thing again.
Boasting: speaking with exaggeration or excessive pride, especially about yourself.
I can see two ways in which boasting damages relationships. The first is boasting about yourself. If you big yourself up, this is naturally going to come at the expense of others. The Bible often speaks of building others up, rather than building yourself up. Jesus gave instructions to be humble, and demonstrated this by washing his disciples feet--a task usually reserved for lowly servants. So bigging yourself up and boasting is liable to damage relationships, because it doesn't consider the other person. It's liable to lead to friction. After all, if I stand there saying 'I'm amazing, I'm amazing, look at me', I'm ignoring the basic point of love, which is caring for someone else, other than yourself.
The other way I look at boasting is like this: boasting about your relationship. I heard somewhere that one of the ways you know you're serious about a relationship is when you want to tell all your friends the tiny little details, but you don't, out of respect for the other person. Relationships aren't meant to be broadcast to the world. You love your boyfriend/girlfriend, you took them out to dinner last night. Great. But if you start talking about all the stuff you do for your boyfriend/girlfriend, or even just your friend, it's worth asking yourself: why are you doing all that stuff? Is it because you genuinely care about them? Or is it because it makes you look good?
Boasting is dangerous whichever way it's happening. It's drawing love away from the relationship and putting it into yourself instead. It's serving yourself instead of serving others. And this works when you're talking about the Christian love (agape) as well. True love, love that wants the best for others, does not want people to look at you and go 'wow, isn't she/he amazing', which is what the aim of boasting is.
Remember, God made you special, and he loves you very much.
Boasting: speaking with exaggeration or excessive pride, especially about yourself.
I can see two ways in which boasting damages relationships. The first is boasting about yourself. If you big yourself up, this is naturally going to come at the expense of others. The Bible often speaks of building others up, rather than building yourself up. Jesus gave instructions to be humble, and demonstrated this by washing his disciples feet--a task usually reserved for lowly servants. So bigging yourself up and boasting is liable to damage relationships, because it doesn't consider the other person. It's liable to lead to friction. After all, if I stand there saying 'I'm amazing, I'm amazing, look at me', I'm ignoring the basic point of love, which is caring for someone else, other than yourself.
The other way I look at boasting is like this: boasting about your relationship. I heard somewhere that one of the ways you know you're serious about a relationship is when you want to tell all your friends the tiny little details, but you don't, out of respect for the other person. Relationships aren't meant to be broadcast to the world. You love your boyfriend/girlfriend, you took them out to dinner last night. Great. But if you start talking about all the stuff you do for your boyfriend/girlfriend, or even just your friend, it's worth asking yourself: why are you doing all that stuff? Is it because you genuinely care about them? Or is it because it makes you look good?
Boasting is dangerous whichever way it's happening. It's drawing love away from the relationship and putting it into yourself instead. It's serving yourself instead of serving others. And this works when you're talking about the Christian love (agape) as well. True love, love that wants the best for others, does not want people to look at you and go 'wow, isn't she/he amazing', which is what the aim of boasting is.
Remember, God made you special, and he loves you very much.
Friday, 13 March 2009
Love does not envy
Envy is a longing for the possessions, advantages, success, qualities of another person. It's uneasiness when you see another person excelling or doing better than you, often with some hatred attached to it. An obsolete meaning is malice, spite, and the desire to injure someone. Sounds pretty nasty. You can see, I'm sure, why Paul said that love does not envy, and why it might be a smart idea not to give envy a toehold in this lifestyle of love he was speaking about.
I'm sure everyone gets envious sometimes. I know I do. What's wrong with it then? In a mild form, isn't it ok? I mean, everyone does it.
Well, no, not really. It's not ok. Everyone does it isn't a good excuse. A majority based morality is not the greatest idea in the world. What if the masses are wrong? A majority based morality is what Hitler created in Germany. Everyone hated the Jews. It was just fine to hate the Jews. Look what that led to. And that stemmed from envy, envy that while Hitler was a young, broke artist trying to make a living he would see Jewish people walking around his native Austria, foreigners in his land, and they were doing well for themselves. Now, that's an extreme example, I'll agree with that.
But envy doesn't just lead to hatred. It stops you appreciating who you are. Every single person in this world is unique. Even if you just go off fingerprints, you are different to the person next to you and the person next to them and the person on the far side of the world. Nobody has exactly the same experiences when they grow up, not even identical twins I'm sure. That means that you are unique and special. You can give something to the world that nobody else can. But if you sit there, wishing that you had somebody else's gifts and talents, well, where does that leave you and your own appreciation of your gifts and talents? Pretty well stuffed really. If you're wishing you could sing like the finalist on X-Factor, you aren't exercising your own talents, whatever they might be. So envying doesn't only lead to hatred, it also stops you fulfilling your potential. Another of the old uses of envy was emulate. If I spend my time imitating other people, I'm not going to grow and develop further as an individual. I'm handing over my uniqueness in favour of something that looks good.
Envy in love is a real nightmare. You can't love someone if you're constantly comparing yourself to them and coming of worst. You can't love someone and want to have what they have. It doesn't work. And if you feel envy towards someone other than your boyfriend/girlfriend, then you're blocking them out and denying them access to who you really are. Honesty is a very valued quality in relationships. If you can't be honest about who you are, then how can you have a meaningful relationship with someone else?
This passes into the 'love your neighbour' kind of love too, and the friendship love. It's very difficult to love someone when you're sat there wishing that they hadn't done better than you on that test, that they didn't have the new TV you want.
So how do you get round it? It's very difficult to obey a negative command. If I tell myself not to think about something, I'm automatically thinking about it by telling myself not to. I guess part of it is counting your own blessings (which is probably impossible). If you want to start it of: you're alive. I know you're alive, because you can't be reading this if you aren't. It's nearly spring, the daffodils are coming out. You have access to a computer, a lot of people don't. Look at your own talents. Maybe you can't sing like the Spice Girls, maybe you haven't got as good a mark as your friend, but what can you do? Look for ways to develop that, not to attempt to do things that you weren't built for. It's like using a mobile phone to hammer a nail and a hammer to try and ring someone. Neither is going to work very well at all, but both are useful. Paul says elsewhere that no part of hte Body is any more important than any other part, and that since you don't get eyes saying 'oh, I wish I was a foot', so too good singers shouldn't say 'I wish I could draw'. I'm guilty of it, I admit it. But it's possible to work at it. Why don't you?
Remember, God made you special, and he loves you very much.
I'm sure everyone gets envious sometimes. I know I do. What's wrong with it then? In a mild form, isn't it ok? I mean, everyone does it.
Well, no, not really. It's not ok. Everyone does it isn't a good excuse. A majority based morality is not the greatest idea in the world. What if the masses are wrong? A majority based morality is what Hitler created in Germany. Everyone hated the Jews. It was just fine to hate the Jews. Look what that led to. And that stemmed from envy, envy that while Hitler was a young, broke artist trying to make a living he would see Jewish people walking around his native Austria, foreigners in his land, and they were doing well for themselves. Now, that's an extreme example, I'll agree with that.
But envy doesn't just lead to hatred. It stops you appreciating who you are. Every single person in this world is unique. Even if you just go off fingerprints, you are different to the person next to you and the person next to them and the person on the far side of the world. Nobody has exactly the same experiences when they grow up, not even identical twins I'm sure. That means that you are unique and special. You can give something to the world that nobody else can. But if you sit there, wishing that you had somebody else's gifts and talents, well, where does that leave you and your own appreciation of your gifts and talents? Pretty well stuffed really. If you're wishing you could sing like the finalist on X-Factor, you aren't exercising your own talents, whatever they might be. So envying doesn't only lead to hatred, it also stops you fulfilling your potential. Another of the old uses of envy was emulate. If I spend my time imitating other people, I'm not going to grow and develop further as an individual. I'm handing over my uniqueness in favour of something that looks good.
Envy in love is a real nightmare. You can't love someone if you're constantly comparing yourself to them and coming of worst. You can't love someone and want to have what they have. It doesn't work. And if you feel envy towards someone other than your boyfriend/girlfriend, then you're blocking them out and denying them access to who you really are. Honesty is a very valued quality in relationships. If you can't be honest about who you are, then how can you have a meaningful relationship with someone else?
This passes into the 'love your neighbour' kind of love too, and the friendship love. It's very difficult to love someone when you're sat there wishing that they hadn't done better than you on that test, that they didn't have the new TV you want.
So how do you get round it? It's very difficult to obey a negative command. If I tell myself not to think about something, I'm automatically thinking about it by telling myself not to. I guess part of it is counting your own blessings (which is probably impossible). If you want to start it of: you're alive. I know you're alive, because you can't be reading this if you aren't. It's nearly spring, the daffodils are coming out. You have access to a computer, a lot of people don't. Look at your own talents. Maybe you can't sing like the Spice Girls, maybe you haven't got as good a mark as your friend, but what can you do? Look for ways to develop that, not to attempt to do things that you weren't built for. It's like using a mobile phone to hammer a nail and a hammer to try and ring someone. Neither is going to work very well at all, but both are useful. Paul says elsewhere that no part of hte Body is any more important than any other part, and that since you don't get eyes saying 'oh, I wish I was a foot', so too good singers shouldn't say 'I wish I could draw'. I'm guilty of it, I admit it. But it's possible to work at it. Why don't you?
Remember, God made you special, and he loves you very much.
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Love is Kind
This seems a kinda obvious thing to say. Love is kind. Well duh, if you love someone, you're gonna be nice to them, right? Well, think about it I love my brother (in a non dodgy sense I'd like to point out). but if people saw us, would they think that? Am I really kind to my brother, do I treat him nicely? Well, not really, not all the time certainly.
Often we hurt those we love most. Often you argue most with those you're really close to. Two friends of mine would constantly argue, bicker, fall out, but everyone knew it wasn't going to last long, that within a day or two they'd be friends again. I never really thought of them separately, they were that close. I know it's not always the case, but think about it. Aren't you often kinder to strangers, more polite to those you hardly ever see or speak to?
Why is that I wonder? I think part of it is that we feel you can be more at ease with friends, but is arguing really being 'at ease'?
Having said that, kindness doesn't always mean not arguing. Being kind can involve discipline and forceful words, and yes, arguments. If I saw a friend doing something I knew was going to hurt them, I'd be unkind if I didn't tell them, so don't think the idea is that you should be a doormat. That's not the point at all. The point is that we rarely show people how much we care about them, and that we're rarely all that kind to our friends and family. One day, and you're probably fed up of various people throwing this at you, you're liable to wake up and they won't be there. And then will you regret that you didn't show them the kindness that says you love them.
In 1 Corinthians 13 (you've probably heard it at weddings), Paul talks about love as a way. Love is a way of life. Being kind to people is part of htat way of life.
How can you show it? You don't have to buy flowers to show a loved one you care (and in case you hadn't realised already, I'm not just talking about loving your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse here, I'm talking about hte friendship kind of love too, and hte loving your enemies kind of love, but more on that bit later). It comes more from your actions, from the words. Out of hte overflow of hte heart, hte mouth speaks. If you care about someone, give them a bit of encouragement. Say, 'hey, that's cool', tell them they're a great person. Even if you don't feel it, you can change your heart, lead your emotions, by speaking it out. The tongue is like hte steering wheel of a truck. It's pretty small by comparison, but it decides which way the whole thing goes.
God's crackers about you.
Often we hurt those we love most. Often you argue most with those you're really close to. Two friends of mine would constantly argue, bicker, fall out, but everyone knew it wasn't going to last long, that within a day or two they'd be friends again. I never really thought of them separately, they were that close. I know it's not always the case, but think about it. Aren't you often kinder to strangers, more polite to those you hardly ever see or speak to?
Why is that I wonder? I think part of it is that we feel you can be more at ease with friends, but is arguing really being 'at ease'?
Having said that, kindness doesn't always mean not arguing. Being kind can involve discipline and forceful words, and yes, arguments. If I saw a friend doing something I knew was going to hurt them, I'd be unkind if I didn't tell them, so don't think the idea is that you should be a doormat. That's not the point at all. The point is that we rarely show people how much we care about them, and that we're rarely all that kind to our friends and family. One day, and you're probably fed up of various people throwing this at you, you're liable to wake up and they won't be there. And then will you regret that you didn't show them the kindness that says you love them.
In 1 Corinthians 13 (you've probably heard it at weddings), Paul talks about love as a way. Love is a way of life. Being kind to people is part of htat way of life.
How can you show it? You don't have to buy flowers to show a loved one you care (and in case you hadn't realised already, I'm not just talking about loving your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse here, I'm talking about hte friendship kind of love too, and hte loving your enemies kind of love, but more on that bit later). It comes more from your actions, from the words. Out of hte overflow of hte heart, hte mouth speaks. If you care about someone, give them a bit of encouragement. Say, 'hey, that's cool', tell them they're a great person. Even if you don't feel it, you can change your heart, lead your emotions, by speaking it out. The tongue is like hte steering wheel of a truck. It's pretty small by comparison, but it decides which way the whole thing goes.
God's crackers about you.
Sunday, 1 March 2009
Love is Patient
Sorry I've been absent for a while, I've been doing other things. Not an excuse really, but it is a reason. So, we were talking about what love is at Blest the other day, and I thought I'd do a little series on what love is, based on Biblical scriptures. This is coming from one you're probably familiar with, it's read at a lot of weddings, regardless of whether they're Christian or secular. (1 Corinthians 13, love is patient is in verse 4).
Love is patient. Patience is taking the time to listen to someone. It's giving them the chance to air their own views. It's taking a deep breath when someone says something that annoys you and giving them a chance to continue with their train of thought, even if you don't agree with it. Patience is: (and this is according to the Oxfor pocket school dictionary since the big one's downstairs) being patient. Ok, not much help. Patient is: able to wait for a long time or put up with trouble or inconvenience without getting anxious or angry. I think that's an interesting bit, the 'anxious' part of the definition. Not getting worried when things go wrong. Allowing things to work out in their own time. So loving someone means letting things work out how they should, rather than forcing them. It means listening, taking time, it means taking a deep breath and counting to ten.
If there's anyone out there you know who gets on your nerves, why not try giving them a bit more time to talk this week (I'll try it too, promise).
Patience is a virtue, that's somewhere in the Bible (sorry, can't remember where exactly, I could look it up, but I'm typing this in a rush). Therefore if love=patience=virtue, love is also a virtue. But I think that'll have to come under another topic.
Love is patient. Patience is taking the time to listen to someone. It's giving them the chance to air their own views. It's taking a deep breath when someone says something that annoys you and giving them a chance to continue with their train of thought, even if you don't agree with it. Patience is: (and this is according to the Oxfor pocket school dictionary since the big one's downstairs) being patient. Ok, not much help. Patient is: able to wait for a long time or put up with trouble or inconvenience without getting anxious or angry. I think that's an interesting bit, the 'anxious' part of the definition. Not getting worried when things go wrong. Allowing things to work out in their own time. So loving someone means letting things work out how they should, rather than forcing them. It means listening, taking time, it means taking a deep breath and counting to ten.
If there's anyone out there you know who gets on your nerves, why not try giving them a bit more time to talk this week (I'll try it too, promise).
Patience is a virtue, that's somewhere in the Bible (sorry, can't remember where exactly, I could look it up, but I'm typing this in a rush). Therefore if love=patience=virtue, love is also a virtue. But I think that'll have to come under another topic.
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